No one can tell you how hard this is

Sure, folks will tell you that it’s hard, miserable, tough, draining, isolating, fearful, and all those other “bad feelings”. But they don’t tell you what really hurts. Because they can’t. You have to experience it to understand.

The Sky is Falling!

It’s Day Two of Deployment. I feel like Chicken Little. Little things keep raining down, and it feels like the sky is falling.

Mr. T and the Airplane, crafted by Gabby to keep Mami company when she gets sad.

Gabrielle’s coping mechanisms surprise me. I thought she would act out and isolate. Instead, she has become a clingy, over-cheerful, hyper-empathic little bundle of domesticity. She wants to cook and clean. She won’t let me leave her at daycare without oodles of kisses and hugs, followed by bawling tears and pleas for me to come back for “one more kiss”. As a cuddler myself, you’d think I would be loving this. I’m not.

Donuts, DDO Reports, and Paper Chains

Amphibious Squadron FIVE (CPR5) just started its deployment, my husband is now steaming towards the other side of the world, and I have begun my journey as a bona fide Navy wife. I should explain that I was, technically, already a Navy wife. I’m married to a Sailor. But, I’m also a Sailor. I don’t rely on my husband for benefits or financial support, I have a job of my own, and I’ve even been haze grey and underway (and loved it). So I figured I had this whole married-single thing down. I assumed that, since I knew the challenges of being deployed, I would be an understanding wife; that because I wasn’t “dependent” in the literal sense of the word, things would be easier.